5%

Starting weight: 286
Current weight: 272
Goal weight: 135
Pounds to go: 137

Today, I can SUPER HAPPILY report that I am 5% less of the person I was 5 weeks ago! For those of you who hate math as much as I do, that is 14 pounds down. I almost can't believe it! I try not to hype myself up before a weigh in because I never want to be disappointed. I will deal with that after I know, not worry about it before. This isn't to say I don't think about it, I just can't allow myself to obsess over it. I want to build a HEALTHY consciousness, not an unhealthy fixation.

I was thinking about that statement, that I "lost 5% of myself." But I really can't consider it a loss! It's a trade-up. Weight lost is just physical pounds, but the other benefits have been 10-fold awesome. The confidence that I have felt return in just a few weeks is astounding to me. Not a "look at me, aren't I awesome, I'm doing this thing that no one in the rest of the world has ever done before la la la" sort of way. There is just so much empowerment in sharing. I can't tell you how many people have come out of the wood work and told me that they have experienced the same feelings, same hesitations, same journeys as I am on now. This is one of the hardest things I have ever embarked on, and the fact that it is one of the most sensitive parts of my life made it that much harder to want to share. But that is exactly why I needed to. Plus the whole host of other benefits like accountability, encouragement, structure, support... the list goes on. And to know that there are others, some who you would never guess, who can suddenly identify with you on a whole new level just blows your mind.

So today I might have reached a weight loss milestone. 14 pounds down is not something I ever imagined myself being able to claim, never even visualized in my mind. When I would think about weight loss I would think two things: There was "oh man I have to join a gym I will probably hate that UGHHHH sweat and sore muscles and not knowing which machine to use and just ugh." Or I would think of how great it would be to be skinny. To not worry about trying to find jeans that fit, or squeezing in to a chair, or fearing other people seeing me eat a french fry and thinking "wow she really needs that?" (That isn't something anyone ever said to me, by the way, it was what my head was telling me they were thinking.) I never really considered the road to a weight loss goal, except that it would be hard. And hard takes time, and I didn't really have the time. But you know what? I DO have the time. It's amazing how much time I have for it! And when you share it with people, each success becomes that much more awesome and each failure becomes that much more encouraging. There isn't just that mean person inside my head telling me that I am not good enough: there are 100 people with a better perspective than I cheering me on and sticking with me. It is just plain wonderful. In other words, I may be 5% less of a physical person, but I am 100% a better person because of it.