Super!

Starting weight: 286
Current weight: 247.8
Goal weight: 135
Pounds to go: 112.8

Wahoo! For those of you counting along at home, my total weight loss is now 38.2 pounds! I had a SUPER good week last week- down 4.2! Let me tell you why it was so super.

1) I actually didn't track last week! I know, I'm as surprised as you. But it started because we were working on a big event at church last week and so the times when I was normally pausing to track got thrown off. (Or, more accurately, thrown completely out the window...) After two days of not tracking, I decided that I would just do a little experiment to see how much my habits had changed since starting this adventure 5 months ago. I felt pretty good about most of my choices, and it looks like I was right!

2) I didn't technically work out last week. I did run around and lift heavy things for a few days, but I also slept a lot on the weekend because I was just so tired from the week! And I was also trying to pre-empt a cold I felt coming on, PLUS we gained an hour. Yikes!

3) I had gained .2 pounds the week before. I know, I know, that is practically nothing. And honestly, I was fine with it. I knew ahead of my weigh in that I didn't feel like I was going to be down by a lot (or at all) and so I had made my peace with it before hand. So when she said "only up .2, not bad!" I actually agreed with her. 
A month ago, I probably would have beaten myself up about it. But part of this whole journey is not just getting healthy physically; it's about having good self-esteem and a healthy self-image too. It can be a hard line to draw sometimes, but there has to be a difference between how much the scale says and how I interpret it. As my mom would say... "put the best construction on everything!" A gain doesn't mean the whole week wasn't worth anything, and a big loss doesn't mean that it is going to be all sunshine and roses from there forward either. Seeing the good in BOTH situations is what will truly help me achieve my goal.

What I am actually more excited about than being down 4.2 in a week is this: I got a 5 pound star yesterday for passing the 35 pound mark, which is all well and good. But when my leader started announcing the awards, she said "we had a few 5 pound stars this week, but they all had to leave, so we'll just move on to bravos." In my head I went "WHAT!" She wasn't kidding either, she had forgotten my 5 pound star!
Now, if the Caitlin who started Weight Watchers 20 some weeks ago had been the one sitting there, I can say with absolute certainty that there would be no 5 pound sticker in her book yesterday, unless her leader had remembered of her own volition. I wouldn't have spoken up or raised my hand. Maybe, MAYBE I would have asked for one privately after the meeting. Again, MAYBE. I was still new to the meetings and to the program, and I would have sat there silently wishing her to remember, yet unwilling and unable to say anything.
But last night, I waited until I was pretty sure the Bravos were over because I didn't want to negate anyone else's victories. Then my hand shot up into the air! I wasn't afraid or intimidated, and I wanted that sticker! We all laughed, I got my sticker, and we moved on. But sitting there afterward, I was thinking to myself about how un-Caitlin that would have been not so long ago, and how good it felt to leave that fear behind.

I'm very much enjoying this new found confidence, and in more ways than just at WW. What's even more fun is recognizing the turning points as they come and being able to document them with you! It looks, feels, and really truly is super.